And thanks for visiting my blog today!^^
This post is going to be a rather short one since I don't have something particular to tell you but I just felt like writing some thoughts of mine, ideas, dreams and such!^^
Recently, I often got this awkward feeling of being in a static situation, not moving forward at all. I am pretty sure most of us know this feeling, and personally, it drives me crazy. But then again I know that it's just the current situation and everything will change (hopefully) for the better in summer, when I *finally* graduate from high school this summer. At least, I'm more or less clear about my plans for the near future now: Currently I am looking for a Family in London to make an au pair year there. I decided it should be London for several reasons: First of all, I adore the British accent!! No seriously, I like English in general, but just as the Kansai-dialect (or rather the "Osaka-ben") is my "mother tongue" in Japanese, I'd like to be the british accent my "mother tongue" in English(which also kind of makes more sense to me since we are taught a rather British English at school in Switzerland). Furthermore I love places wich an old founded culture, multi cultural influence and internationality and I adore high quality theatre, plays, movies, fashion and good music. Oh, and as a matter of fact I love rain, storms, gales and bad weather just as much as I love sunshine. Well, the UK, and especially London, is well know for all of this factors. And then there is my dream, or rather my goal, to become a well known actress and thus to inspire people and giving them dreams. My goal is to play in international shown movies by the time I am thirty, and in order to do so I need to study abroad rather than in Switzerland. So, regarding all of this factors, I thought it would be the best killing two birds with one stone and combining my hunger for adventures, my love to interact with people and my flair with children with more time to explore London, get into acting classes and/or theatre clubs in order to train for auditions, to make new connections and friends, to train myself to the shape necessary to be successful in the business, to search for good acting schools (that are payable) and to decide whether I can imagine staying there for a couple of years or rather going west, direction LA...
But as a matter of fact, I also thought id would be good for my backup plan for the worst case scenario: I definitely will make the proficiency test during the year in London as well (I am confident that I will make it, since my aim is to speak and write as well as a native at the end of the year) as well as my driving license (since they are also driving on the left side like in Japan and it's a lot cheaper to make it than in Switzerland). By doing so, in the worst case I could go to Japan and teach German and English, so there is basically nothing to worry for me anymore, since I have plenty of contacts there as well and my Japanese is sufficient to survive there(I also plan on continuing to study since I also want to speak and write is as fluent as a Japanese one day). That's the reason why I'd rather not return to Japan immediately - since I really can imagine to live there all my live; and I really took a likening on Japanese people and culture, so I am kind of afraid that if I return there now, I will probably meet someone, settle down and not following the path of my heart and abandon my dreams. I don't say that would be bad, I'm sure I would be really happy, and as I said, I can imagine to settle down there in my future, but I don't want to go there without even trying to realize my vision. And to become a regular aired actress in Japan, I'm just too tall and too foreign!-.-'' Matter of fact.
Well, if I make it to the top of the world, everything will look different again, but first things first.
At the moment I don't even have a host family yet, since most of them are looking for au pairs ASAP or maximum 3 months in advantage, so I'm still too early, but that makes me kind of nervous!*sigh* I guess I still need to train myself in the quality of character called "patience"... Well, and first of all I need to graduate properly, right?!;P
But, what I really am grateful for in times like this is the fact that there are always amazing people supporting me. No matter how far apart, even if I was in the middle of a desert, I know exactly that somewhere in this world, be it in the next room or thousands of kilometres, there are my beloved and precious ones, friends, family, persons who inspire me and persons who back me; not always visible, but still on the same planet, under the same sky. This is why I have my bed under the window: Each night before I fall to sleep, I look up to the stars and remind myself of that fact. I think of all my friends and how bloody lucky I am to be blessed with such amazing people and so much love around me.
My parents -my dad who doesn't try to hinder me of making my goals come true and who I know how proud he is of me; and my mum just..doing an amazing job as a mother and being far more than that - A friend, if I need an open ear or an advice, a teacher, if I seek for a truth, a hint-giver, if I am looking for an answer, a master, if I need a master plan, and probably the person with the biggest heart I have ever met. And, on top of that, a hell of a good woman!!*v* Do you know the song "go gentle" from Robbie Williams devoted to his daughter? Well, that's pretty much describing our relationship!^^<3-
my friends - scattered all over the word, some being similar to me, some the pure opposite, but each and everyone of them special and unique in their own way and my personal V.I.P.'s! And I especially like how we live around the whole globe, it's an awesome feeling to always have an open door if someone is coming over, and I will always welcome my friends at home, especially if they are in need, because that's what friends are for - to be there for each other, in good time and in bad times, since they are the family you can choose by youself - and it's even more awesome to know that most of them (I would never dare to presume that ALL of them think as I do, but I know that most of them do) think mutual and welcome me anytime, which is an overwhelming feeling!! -
and my other families( which kind of seem to keep growing) - All my host families in Japan I can't wait to see my big sister and Riya again( I never know in which category to put him..little brother?..big brother...an annoying guy with an adorable character? Well, therefore I put him in the category "Riya"xD ^^'') and my other little siblings (OMG, they have to have grown sooo much in the meantime, by the next time I'll see them they will all be teenagers!!*w*<3); and my newest addition to the category "extended family", Cléo's family, who was kind enough to let me live with them the whole last summer( I just got surprisingly post by them and was so happy, I hope I can meet them again in the nearer future).
And last but not least, persons who are interested in what I am thinking and what I experience (That includes you as well, since you bother reading this blog) - Followers on Instagram and twitter, friends on facebook, but, most of all, reader of this blog. Each time when I click on the statistics of my blog, showing me that even if I hadn't written in a long time there are people visiting constantly my blog and checking for new entries; each time I click on the world map and see that persons from all over the world are reading my thoughts, I get all happy and excited, because I hope that this blog will make a little piece of my dream to inspire people comes true.
And that is basically all I wanted to remind you of:
Even if you are going through a harsh time in life, I am convinced that each person has at least someone in their life who DOES care. If it's not within your family, it may be in your friends. If it's not a friend near by, think that you may have friends living in other places. Maybe friends or parts of you personal, extended family that you don't even have contact anymore but you feel connected to anyhow. If you feel like you don't have a single soul in this world, you maybe overlook someone. Maybe this person is just shy or you never noticed their efforts to approach you up to now, but I really am convinced that everybody in the end has somebody - even if it doesn't look like it. If you try to open up just a little bit and don't have prejudices, you will be surprised what persons you can actually become friends with(trust me, I know what I'm saying - In Japan, after opening up, my circle of friends grew enormously and persons I thought I could never be friends with grew closest to me).
Maybe that is also the reason why I never have been homesick: as long as I dream, I live. As long as I live, I have visions. As long as I have visions, I move forward; trying to realize them. As long as I move..I am free.
Sometimes, we may get off our track in life, but as long as one looks up to the stars, how could one possibly get lost in life completely? For stars sign posts, they show me the way and they comfort me, for when I look up to the stars I remember that I am never alone. May we stand on different grounds, in the end we are still under the same sky.
your cheeky devil