Happy Halloween Everyone!^0^/
It's been a while now, but I just got the feeling that I couldn't go on a single more day without writing a new post!xD (In fact, since I'm lying in bed with a really bad cold on halloween's night there is also not much else to do, so I finally got the time..-.-'')
The main reason why there lies so much time between the last and this post is because I was really busy with my graduation project, which is finally finished and I'm very satisfied with (and a bit proud, of course!^w^) I wrote a book about my experiences in Japan, which is partly fiction and partly based on true happenings/my memories!:) I think I'll also upload it here soon (though it is written in my mother tongue, German^^'').
Do you know the story of Jekyll and Hyde? It's like ever since the Kpop group VIXX brought out their song "Hyde", I've been stumbling about allusions ans references to this famous novel and finally got curious enough to read it myself. It's about a Doctor who experiments with his own body and finally discovers himself partet into his good side (Jekyll) and his dark side (Hyde). I liked the book a lot and can only recommend it to you!However, sometimes I also have the feeling of the other me wanting to jump out at any moment, just to say hello and teasing me!-.-'' No seriously, each time I finally think I've come around with a decision of what I want to do, there is suddenly something popping out of the nowhere and sets me back to point zero. Like as if there was a nasty, bored little god sitting on his cloud and grinning full of himself down to me, thinking:"Hmmm, lets see how I can complicate your life today..Oh, I see, let's start with your newest idea for your future, that will be fun!*mischievous grin* I think it's already much to settled and clear - and simple!That ain't no fun like this, you need to struggle a little more, little human! First, let's show you that your current plan is not what you thought it would be - yeah right, in fact you don't like it at all *hehehehe!*. Then, let's come up with several new ideas popping up in your head, of which each and every one is eighter not really satisfying or really difficult to turn into reality. Then, let's make you think and think over it again, until your head smokes and you don't know what you want yourself anymore. Finally, you maybe have an exact idea of what you DON'T want, but no concrete idea of what you DO want to do. The next step will be that you may find two or three things that you think would be cool, but are really different. You will find yourself disputing the topic with your other side inside of your gead over and over again, without getting to a solution, which nearly drives you mad - Yeah, that sounds like a good plan, let's try it and see, what happens*satisfied with himself*" Well, it's not the first time, my personal "hyde" shows up to complicate my life further - normally the akuma-version of "jekyll" and "hyde" coexist peacefully, one day showing a bit more of jekyll and the other day a bit bot of hyde. Well, it seems to me that my Hyde didn't have quite enough ieeway to enjoy himself, which he apparently seems to compensate..-.-'' I think it's not a coincidence that my zodiac are the twins - one side saying one thing, the other side wanting the exact contrary. Bothersome twins! Well, most of the time I like them, though.^^''
I really want to work in the media branch, and my dream is still to become an actress. But if I want to do that, I probably need to go eighter to London or the USA... If I don't know what to do, I thought abut getting a work and travel visa and just try to make a lifing on my own until I really know what i want - The best way to find oneself is still to travel. Well, of course I want to go back home to Japan, but if my dream takes me to other countries, that's fine too, I can come back anytime later in the future as well ( Well, in fact the most awesome thing would be to work as an actress/in the medias in Japan!I just don't know if I as a foreigner had a chance, since you rarely see foreigners in japanese films...^^''). Well, we'll see what future brings to me - as long as you are willing to work, you'll always find something to survive of, so I don't worry and take my time to discover the one thing cut out for me.
By the way, do you have a bucket list? Personally, I have one!^0^ There are sooooooooo many things I want to do in my life, and because life is so short, one easily looses focus on one's dreams and things one wants to do, so I keep record of the things I want to do the most in my life. My top 3 are:
1.) Learning how to surf (really good!)
2.) See the polar lights (at least once in my life, this has to be so stunning and beautiful!!>_<)
3.) Learning an Instrument perfectly (On my top 3 wanting-to-play list are the guitar, violin and the piano!*v*)
What are thing you guys really want to do? What do you want to experience, what do you want to reach in your life?
I don't know how it is for you, but for me it's essential to have dreams and goas in life, to have something you aim for, something you are really passionate about. If humans stopped dreaming and reaching for something, they probably stopped to move forward and evolve to a higher form of themselves. Dreams will make you to struggle sometimes, but dreams are also the reason you will pull yourself together and get up again, continuing to reach for your goal. A dream has not always to be concrete. Sometimes the only thing of importance is to start moving and opening your eyes, your ears and your heart - your dream may pop out at any point, any moment, without you even realizing it! So if you don't know what you want to do just like me now - don't worry! As long as you move, things will come to you.^^
I just found this beautiful music video and think it fits perfectly - I ADORE 30 Seconds to Mars and am so exited to go to their concert in Zuerich this Tuesday!!!*__*<3<3<3
I hope I can write again soon,
for now I wish you guys all the best and take care of yourself ne!;P
with a Cheshire Cat - like grin,
your cheeky devil