Sonntag, 21. April 2013

between dreams and reality: fading worlds,a spectrum of feelings

Hey there, 皆、お久しぶりです〜!(It’s been a long time, everybody)

There are so many thoughts circling in my mind recently. And dreams. And on top of that, many things are going on outside as well. That’s one of the reasons why it seems me to take much longer than usual to post new posts. I just hope that you are still motivated to read my blog, because I really don’t want to get this place abandoned... I know, my blog is just another blog amongst thousands, but for me, it’s something special. It’s my little world where I can settle my thoughts and tell the chapters of the story of my life, and, more important, it’s the proof what I’ve lived through. It’s the proof that I have been there - in the country that has become a main part of myself, the country of gods and the rising sun: Japan. Even if I should forget some things that happened, my writings never will. And having people interested enough to read along with my life even makes it more fun. So thank you, everybody, really!

Recently, I have a strange sense of my surrounding. It feels as if dream and reality coalesce and in the end neither the one nor the other feels like the real thing. I often get the feeling of being in Japan at the very moment, or that Japan is somewhat really close, like I could just get inside a train and go there after school. Or I see myself in Japan, thinking about undertaking something with my friends; then I want to text them something like „hey, let’s go shopping in Namba“ or „Wanna go to Karaoke after school?“ .Suddenly everything fades away, I open my eyes, blink several times, look around me in sleepy confusion, feel the cozy warmth of my bed and finally realize: OH. It was just another dream....

Last year, I felt just like I was about going mad because I felt that homesick for Japan. In the meanwhile, I settled down and got accustomed to Switzerland pretty much again. Now it’s more like a bitter - sweet aspiration what I feel, a dragging nostalgia; or better, an urge longing to be there again. I just miss the people there. The attitudes and the atmosphere they have around them, their humor and their whole appearance. And I miss my friends like hell. And I don’t even know when the next time I’ll go there will be.*sighs*Nevertheless, life goes on, right?;)

From next week on, I’ll work part time at weekends in a big Swiss bakery with café.^v^頑張りまーす!(I’ll give my best!^0^). And a month before, I started dancing in a K - Pop Dancegroup(actually the biggest one in Switzerland, Eterna Gees - They have a youtube channel and stuff, I’ll post the link here when we have filmed our current dance cover!^^<3). I am new there, but I already like them a lot! The girls are all really nice and most of them are just as crazy as I am, so I fit in there pretty well, I guess!x)
 Oh, And I will soon start with my graduation project (卒業作品). I will write a book about my experiences in Japan!^v^ Oh, and I’ll write it in my mother tongue, so it will be German.^v^’’ In a year I’ll finally graduate from high school myself!^v^ I’m sooo looking forward to it! But I have absolutely no plan what I’ll do afterwards!-.-'‘ T__T Well, I guess first things come first, life will show me the way I want to go when the time comes, or so do I believe. I have faith that the wind will blow me just in the right direction, and as long as there is wind, I’m confident that I’ll never regret. Because the only thing regrettable is not to move and to keep on standing still because one is afraid. Courage is not about not to be afraid, it’s about facing your fears. But how can one face one’s fears if you cannot even move I wonder? As long as I am moving, an interesting life full of adventures lies in front of me, that much I know. Nothing is impossible if one tries hard enough. Just have faith in yourself and keep on going!

I’ll write another post this or the next week, I just didn’t want to make this one to long, so please be sure to check this place out now and then!^v^ <3

Well, see you guys soon, stay healthy!;))

your cheeky devil